Archive for January, 2009Have you ever felt stuck in a bad mood and couldn't seem to let it go no matter what you did? At times like this it seems like everything around you just keeps going wrong, exacerbating your negative focus and keeping you stuck. There are many ways to improve your mood in this type of situation, but one of the quickest and easiest is through the use of creative visualization. Below are three simple visualization techniques you can use to boost your mood and change a negative mind-set into a positive one: 1)Mentally change your current situation. When you're feeling stuck in unpleasant circumstances, obsessing about them only makes them seem stronger and more difficult, which keeps you feeling stuck. However, with visualization you can change the situation in your own mind so that it has a completely different outcome! Think about the way your current situation is, and ask yourself how you'd like it to be. Then, close your eyes and make it happen! Start at the beginning (you can even start at the very beginning of your day if you want), and mentally work through the situation(s) until you reach the present moment, but make everything go the way YOU want it to go. For example, if you're having a bad day at work, imagine having a better day where you're smiling, feeling productive and enjoying your work. It may take several minutes to shift your feelings to match your new mental image, but its well worth the effort! 2)Think about something wonderful from your past. If you're having trouble imagining a better outcome in your current situation, you can fall back on a previous experience that made you feel happy and carry those feelings into the present moment. Think about the day you got married, your first kiss, or the time you received a heartwarming gift. Whatever memory you choose, make sure its wonderful and exciting and brings back a warm glow of joy and gratitude! Relive it in your mind and allow yourself to feel those good feelings again. 3)Imagine a better future. You can also use this same process to transport yourself to a better time in the future. Think about something wonderful you want to have happen at a future time and imagine that its happening now! Fantasize about the day when you finally achieve your long-term goals, win the lottery, or meet your soul mate. The specifics don't matter except that they leave you feeling excited and happy. The trick with all of these visualization exercises is to really allow yourself to feel the feelings that the visions inspire! Just seeing the images in your mind is only the beginning part of the process. When you fully immerse yourself in these positive emotions, you'll carry them into your present situation and end up feeling much lighter and calmer. Its important to note that you'll probably have to use a bit of determination to shift your mood, even with the use of visualization. Ultimately, its up to you if you choose to stay stuck in negative feelings or find a way to let them go. While these techniques wont change anything in your outer circumstances, you'll be changing the way you PERCEIVE your circumstances which makes you feel more positive . . . and thats the whole point!
Have you ever felt stuck in a bad mood and couldn't seem to let it go no matter what you did? At times like this it seems like everything around you just keeps going wrong, exacerbating your negative focus and keeping you stuck. There are many ways to improve your mood in this type of situation, but one of the quickest and easiest is through the use of creative visualization. Below are three simple visualization techniques you can use to boost your mood and change a negative mind-set into a positive one: 1)Mentally change your current situation. When you're feeling stuck in unpleasant circumstances, obsessing about them only makes them seem stronger and more difficult, which keeps you feeling stuck. However, with visualization you can change the situation in your own mind so that it has a completely different outcome! Think about the way your current situation is, and ask yourself how you'd like it to be. Then, close your eyes and make it happen! Start at the beginning (you can even start at the very beginning of your day if you want), and mentally work through the situation(s) until you reach the present moment, but make everything go the way YOU want it to go. For example, if you're having a bad day at work, imagine having a better day where you're smiling, feeling productive and enjoying your work. It may take several minutes to shift your feelings to match your new mental image, but its well worth the effort! 2)Think about something wonderful from your past. If you're having trouble imagining a better outcome in your current situation, you can fall back on a previous experience that made you feel happy and carry those feelings into the present moment. Think about the day you got married, your first kiss, or the time you received a heartwarming gift. Whatever memory you choose, make sure its wonderful and exciting and brings back a warm glow of joy and gratitude! Relive it in your mind and allow yourself to feel those good feelings again. 3)Imagine a better future. You can also use this same process to transport yourself to a better time in the future. Think about something wonderful you want to have happen at a future time and imagine that its happening now! Fantasize about the day when you finally achieve your long-term goals, win the lottery, or meet your soul mate. The specifics don't matter except that they leave you feeling excited and happy. The trick with all of these visualization exercises is to really allow yourself to feel the feelings that the visions inspire! Just seeing the images in your mind is only the beginning part of the process. When you fully immerse yourself in these positive emotions, you'll carry them into your present situation and end up feeling much lighter and calmer. Its important to note that you'll probably have to use a bit of determination to shift your mood, even with the use of visualization. Ultimately, its up to you if you choose to stay stuck in negative feelings or find a way to let them go. While these techniques wont change anything in your outer circumstances, you'll be changing the way you PERCEIVE your circumstances which makes you feel more positive . . . and thats the whole point! By Aren Cohen - January 12, 2009 On February 12, 2008, I wrote an article for PPND called What is Love Anyway? In that article I questioned why we seek a scientific explanation for love, or if we should allow ourselves to enjoy the magic of this incredible positive emotion.
I didn’t need any more convincing. Despite my parents’ divorce, their happy remarriages were prime examples showing me the benefits of marriage. But as a single girl sitting in a classroom of happy positive psychologists I was forced to ask myself…how to do I get myself married so I can have all of these emotional and physical benefits? Of course, I wasn’t quite as calculated as all that, but I was a seasoned 34-year-old New Yorker who had watched too many episodes of Sex and the City and read books like Janis Spindel’s Get Serious About Getting Married, I was starting to wonder if I was approaching spinsterhood. There had been many, many dates over the years, and still it wasn’t happening. According to the Seligman and Peterson’s VIA Test, my number one strength was Love. Yet I was alone. Something wasn’t adding up. So, I put my knowledge of positive psychology into practice and amazingly, André appeared in my life at exactly the right moment. How did I change my life to make it “exactly the right moment?” Good question! First of all, thanks to what I had learned from the MAPP program, I was becoming a happier person, more attuned to my own spirituality and to reasons to celebrate gratitude. I kept my gratitude journal and I started using the practices suggested by Laura King, such as writing about my goals for the future and visualizing what I wanted. I wrote my laundry list of everything I wanted my partner to be in my gratitude journal. I did it more than once. I wrote my list starting with phrases ranging from “I will find a man who is,” to “My guy will be…” thinking that maybe different linguistic expressions would be more friendly to my personal outlook and search. Also, I stopped watching Sex in the City. I didn’t want to be single, so why watch examples of being single? Instead, I started reading love stories like Pride and Prejudice and Eat, Pray, Love to fill my head with the possibilites of romance.
I suppose the icing on my cake was the “What is Love Anyway?” article I wrote the night before I met him. I sent it to him after our date, so besides our initial emails, it was the first example of my writing that he had seen. I think it won him over. So, those were the changes I made to get romantic love into my life. Now that it is just shy of a year and we have been married for almost five months, what is the biggest change in my life now? Well, a few things. I compromise more. I get and give a lot more hugs. I smile more. I speak and hear the words “I love you” much more often. I have a new nickname. Most importantly, I have someone I can trust, whom I love, and who loves me. Oh yes, and one more thing…I cook more! Nothing brings out positive emotions like preparing a home-cooked meal made with love. (It sure beats Chinese take-out and cooking for one can be so dull with no positive feedback other than your own.) Part of the positive psychology we practice as often as we can is dinner at home. In the tradition of positive psychology, we always say some version of grace, to remember we have so much to be grateful for, particularly each other. The author would like to thank the lovely and talented Jennifer Weisbord for permission to use her artful copyrighted photograph in this article. References Austen, J. (1813/1981). Pride and Prejudice Toronto: Bantam Books. Burton, C.M., & King, L. A. (2004). The health benefits of writing about peak experiences. Journal of Research in Personality, 38, 150-163.
Gilbert, E. (2006). Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia New York: Viking. Lyubomirsky, S., King, L.A., and Diener, E. (2005). The benefits of frequent positive affect: Does happiness lead to success? Psychological Bulletin, 131, 803-855. Seligman, Martin (2004), Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment. New York: Free Press. Spindel, J. (2005). Get Serious About Getting Married: 365 Proven Ways to Find Love in Less Than a Year. New York: William Morrow. Vaillant, G. (2003). Aging Well: Surprising Guideposts to a Happier Life from the Landmark Harvard Study of Adult Development. New York: Little Brown. This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News Daily. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.  By John Yeager - January 11, 2009
Aristotle claimed that a person’s “will” is developed through establishing habits - “brave people became brave by doing brave things.” Virtue is developed through action. This has great implications for young people who are in the throws of developing their “will” through the modeling, dialogue and consequences of life experiences. A compelling example about wishing and willing comes from a story by Peter Greer, the former headmaster of The Montclair Kimberley Academy. He speaks about a young boy’s Little League experience:
Kali Trzesniewski and her colleagues at The University of Western Ontario, however, suggest that it is not about a generation that has been spoiled. It is that “GenMe has been raised thinking we were special and getting lots from Mom and Dad, but when we hit young adulthood we face an enormous mismatch between what we expect and what we actually get.” This comes as a culture shock to many young people after leaving the nest and can influence the process of realizing their dreams. Employers who are aware of this shift, can then play to the strengths of their young employees to help them navigate the next steps of their journeys. I don’t wish to generalize GenerationMe or any other cohort, and how they have made and will make their marks on the world. As a baby boomer growing up in the 50’s and 60’s my wishes helped to frame my visions and plans to get it done! It was founded on a strong nurturing of my “will” by caregivers, teachers, and other important people. It is essential that we carry on that legacy by innoculating young people with the “strengths habit” so that their dreams can awaken and come alive! Images Mr. Peabody and the Wayback Machine from Toonopedia It’s a Wonderful Life movie poster References Trzesniewski, K. H., Donnellan, M. B., and Robins, R. W. (2008). Do today’s young people really think they are so extraordinary? An examination of secular changes in narcissism and self enhancement. Psychological Science, 19, 181-188. Twenge, J.M. (2007). Generation Me – Why Today’s Young American Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled – and More Miserable Than Ever Before. New York: Free Press. Yeager, J, Buxton, J., Baltzell, A., & Bzdell, W. (2001). Character and Coaching: Building Virtue in Athletic Programs. Port Chester, NY: National Professional Resources-Dude Publishing. This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News Daily. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.  John M. Yeager, Ed.D, MAPP, is Director of the Center for Character Excellence at The Culver Academies in Culver, Indiana. John consults with Dave Shearon, and Sherri Fisher at www.FlourishingSchools.com, an organization that integrates best practices in education with cutting edge Positive Psychology research. Full bio. John writes on the 11th of each month and his past articles are here. By Christine Duvivier - January 9, 2009
(1) Not being a top student means you are not hardworking, motivated, or intelligent; This article is the first in a series that will look at each of the myths in turn. ————————————– * * * ———————————— Myth #1: Bottom Students Do Not Work Hard
A common theme among The Bottom 80™ group was tenacity and diligence when a topic interests them— they “become completely absorbed in learning,” and “dive in head first.” These students have gifts that are well-suited to successful lives, but often these abilities are not amplified and enhanced in school. Instead, we may think that these students are not capable because their gifts do not match what we look for in school. Why Should We Dispel This Myth?
If you look at the real-life data, you’ll find that many hardworking, motivated, gifted people—including renowned scientists, leaders, and productive citizens—were not good students. Take Vernon Smith, for example: a Nobel Prize-winner in economics and a “C” student who dropped out of high school. Is he an exception? No. Vernon Smith is someone who was able to amplify his gifts. He thrived with hands-on learning, and disproved the leading economic theory because he designed his class to learn through physical touch and movement, rather than reading and writing. How Can We Act to Dispel This Myth?
When we stop thinking of poor performance as a problem with the child, and instead create a sense of awe by seeing how she learns and appreciating her gifts, we will feel confident that the future is bright indeed. Images: girl and girl reading (from imagebase), Vernon Smith (from here) References: Csiksentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience.. New York: Harper Perennial. Davis, R. (1994). The Gift of Dyslexia. New York: Ability Workshop Press. Duvivier, C. (2007). Appreciating Beauty in The Bottom 80™. Philadelphia, PA: Capstone Project for University of Pennsylvania MAPP degree. Hallowell, E. (2003). The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness: Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy. New York: Ballantine Books. Seligman, Martin (2004), Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment. New York: Free Press. This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News Daily. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.  Christine Duvivier, MAPP, has studied teens in the bottom 80% and uncovered damaging myths and exciting opportunities in educating both top and bottom students. She speaks publicly to parents, educators, and students, and leads workshops: www.positiveleaders.com Email: Christine@positiveleaders.com Full bio. Christine is a guest author, and her past articles are here. By Kathryn Britton - January 7, 2009
Leverage: Will a particular behavior change make other goals easier to achieve? For example, Ratey explains that exercise puts people in a physical state where learning is easier. Meditation and exercise contribute to a state of calm that makes many other things possible. Practicing mindfulness enhances other forms of behavior regulation. Context change: Several researchers have demonstrated that context changes, such as moving to a new home or starting a new job, create windows of opportunity where habit change is easier. If you have just made a major context change, how can you take advantage of it to make a desired behavior change? Or could you create an artificial context change to open a window of opportunity? One set of friends started eating in the dining room instead of the kitchen to support new eating patterns. Two couples sold the second family car, creating a context change to supported new transportation and exercise habits. Perceived self-efficacy. Do you believe you can make the change? Can you remember similar changes you’ve made successfully in the past? Do you have friends or role models who have made a similar change? If it’s something you’ve tried without success, is there a different way you can look at it to get away from the association with failure? For example, could you stop thinking in terms of losing weight and instead think in terms of developing healthy eating habits? The first is an illusory goal since it sounds like something that you can achieve and be done with. The second more accurately reflects the ongoing behavior change that is required. Is there some other change that you could make first to increase your self-efficacy before embarking on the more difficult change?
Social support: Some changes are easier to make if you aren’t the only one. Are there other people wanting to make the same change with whom you could set up mutual accountability? For example, a group of friends have a daily call to report out pedometer readings to encourage each other to walk more. Perhaps there is a company program for addressing health habit changes, such as the one that Bandura describes in clinical trials:
Lots of questions to consider. Now a question for you: How have you selected your most successful habit changes? Images All images are photographs taken by Edward G. Britton. Bandura, A. (2004). Health promotion by social cognitive means. Health Education & Behavior, 31(2), 143-164. Bandura, A. (2005). The Primacy of Self-Regulation in Health Promotion. Applied Psychology: An International Review, 54(2), 245–254. Brown, K. W. & Ryan, R. (2004). Fostering healthy self-regulation from within and without: A self-determination theory perspective. Linley, P. A. & Joseph, S. (Eds.). Positive Psychology in Practice. pp. 105-124. New York: John Wiley & Sons. ⇒ Discusses the affect of mindfulness on behavioral regulation. Davidov, E. (2007). Explaining habits in a new context. In Rationality and Society, 19(3), 315–334. Sage Publications, http://rss.sagepub.com, DOI: 10.1177/1043463107077392. Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. New York: Penguin Books. Neal, D. T., Wood, W. & Quinn, J. M. (2006). Habits—A Repeat Performance. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 15(4), 198-202. Ratey, J. (2008). Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain. New York: Little, Brown and Company. Verplanken, B., Walker, I., Davis, A., & Jurasek, M. (2008). Context change and travel mode choice: Combining the habit Wood, W., Tam, L., & Witt, M. G. (2005). Changing circumstances, disrupting habits. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88, 918–933. This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News Daily. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.  Kathryn Britton, MAPP, former software engineer, is a certified professional coach working with professionals to increase well-being, energy, and meaning. Visit Theano Coaching LLC. She studies positive interventions to increase job satisfaction because of her experiences with teams in a large corporation. Her blog, Positive Psychology Reflections, explores positive psychology applications to everyday life. Full bio. Kathryn writes on the 7th of each month, and her past articles are here. Providing health and fitness related eBooks. Vibrant Health Now eBooks. -
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The Wayback Machine
Three false, harmful myths are holding our children back. When we de-bunk these myths, the future looks very bright for our teens. In fact, in recent study, I found that—no matter what their GPA—teens will have great opportunities because world, corporate, and scientific prospects depend on a far broader set of characteristics than those we emphasize in our system of education. I’d like us to create systems where more kids can thrive sooner, and that means refuting the myths:
Contrary to popular mythology, I found that 
We are not helping teens make the most of these vital gifts that have the potential to contribute to the world. Much of school is other-directed, written-language-centric, and not designed to build upon individual students’ gifts and strengths.
